Thursday, January 31, 2008

His Mercy and Grace

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my check up and blood work. The doctor was really able to break my blood scores down for me. I thought when the DR at the ER said my scores were high that they would be ok maybe 50 points higher than the norm. Well, a normal to high gallbladder score should be 0-40 mine is 426 I guess that sums up what high really means to the ER.
They ran a series of blood panels on me and are testing for everything on my liver. Their hope right now is that the scores on my liver are high due to my gallbladder. The hope for that is after the gallbladder is removed my liver may be able to heal itself. They are also referring me to a surgeon who will be able to do my surgery promptly.
When they had me go to the lab for my blood work there was an eldery lady who was walking with a walker sitting right beside of me waiting for her blood work. I pondered the idea what will I be like by the time I am her age will I live that long? and if I live that long how many parts will I have lost by then. I feel like Mrs. Potato head (you know that all Mr and Mrs Potato Heads loose their parts pretty quickly) I have lost my tonsils, all female organs, now my gallbladder all in 3 years. Hey at least I have all of the other parts YEAH!
You see as a young child I was very sick for a long time. I had a severe case of scarlet fever and the doctors warned my parents that I may have issues when I was older due to that. My immune system ever since has been very weak but I have done well. I was talking to my brother the other day on the phone and I finally gave in and said "You know I was sick all the time as a child I can not believe that I am going through this again as an adult". I was all into the pitty me deal and honestly angry after all I have been through why me Lord?
Well, I decided after that I was going to quit complaining and look to the Lord for my strength as I stated in my last blog. Tuesday one of my co-workers shared a great verse with me that really helped me to focus on my relationship with the Lord. Yesterday as I was saying I was sitting in the lab waiting for my lab work and the nurse was looking over my file. The little elderly lady started joking around with me and then it was time for her to leave. The nurse put my file down and came over to me she explained that she hadn't seen many files like mine with so many health issues at such a young age and she explained that the Lord had a purpose for what I was going through. I let her know that the verse I was standing on was "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops".
Then she about blew me away with what came next... She said "dear the Lord has had his hand on you since birth and he is using you as his testimony to all around you". You have the strength of his army behind you and inside of you. I forgot that she was drawing several vials of blood all I could think of was how selfish and unthankful I had been.
You know to everything over the past several years now I have been able to use my struggles as a testimony. With my issues with fertility and being told that I may not ever have children and I have 3 beautiful babies. My baby girl my hearts desire since being a child I almost lost her to a nickel lodged in her throat 4 years ago and the Lord saved her little life, 3 years ago I almost lost my marriage and our marriage has been healed and we are now able to currently minister to our neighbor who is going through a seperation, 2 1/2 years ago possible cancer in my tonsils and when they took them out and tested them they were just abnormally large but no cancer present, 1 year ago my scare of cancer and my hysterectomy the Lord showed me how it was caught just one stage away from full blown cancer. Now this year my gallbladder and liver I know that this too will be a testimony to someone some how but it may just be a testimony to myself.
I know that my weakness is that I am a control freak and a very strong willed woman. But, I am finally ready to be the clay and let the Lord be the potter. I am ready for him to mold me and make me into his piece of work because by my own will I am falling apart. With out the Lord I am nothing but a lost sinner trying to make it in this world so full of sin. When you live in this world as part of this world it will tear you apart little by little and no matter what you do by your own will you will eventually drown.
But I have learned that if I take a hold of his garment he will drag me up out of this lake I am drowning in and he will put me back up on his potters wheel and he will make me beautiful in his image as I was menat to be.
His mercy and grace is new to me this morning!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

We are expecting!

I am expecting a lot of health issues =(
I went into work yesterday as usual and carried on my daily routine. Then all of a sudden around 3pm I had severe chest pains. I had to call my manager over to my desk and then I blacked out and all I remember next is the paramedic saying we can't read her pulse. I was breathing very light quick breaths that were very hard to take in. I remember them asking me some questions and I tried to answer them. I was very cold, gray in color and praying under my breath. I could not move all I could do was lay there on my work floor beside my desk.
At this time I was really struggeling within myself I remember praying the sinners prayer and for God to take care of my family and loved ones. I remember thinking to myself "Do I really want to fight to breath anymore" "Of course I do" but the pain was so unbearable.
They were finally able to get a pulse on me and rolled me out to the ambulance. There they had issues with trying to get an IV started on me because of my tiny veins. After the second try they got the IV in and we were on our way. They took me to CMC uptown since it is closest to my work. There they ran a series of EKG's, Cat scan, blood work etc. Then just after Brian had to leave to get our little ones from school the Dr came in to let me know that my heart looked great but he really thought that I had a blood clot in my lungs. WHAT LORD??? Why me you see this time exactly a year ago I was battling possible ovarian cancer and the fear of that.
Now I was of course thinking the worst and I just kept praying "Lord calm my weak spirit please Lord give me strength you knew me before I was born Lord you know my beginning and my end. Lord I don't want this to be my end please just ease my uneasy mind". I was so scared at this moment that I was shaking with cold chills all over my body.
Then the Dr came back and explained that he wanted to draw more blood work and send me for x-rays of my lungs. So, they drew several vials of blood and off we went to x-ray. That was not a fun experience either since I was still having pain in my chest but also my lower back and shoulders. After the x-rays I was brought back to my room to lay down and wait for the results.
I was pleased to hear that they did not find a blood clot but my blood work did come back with a lot of specualtion. So, this time we were off to ultra sound. This was a pretty lengthy ultrasound of all of my organs from different positions. The technician was very pleasant and talkative which made my time there much calmer.
Then I was back in my room to wait once more. Now Brian was still not back yet as we live a little distance from the hospital and he was trying to get help to watch the children so he could come back to be with me. I really enjoyed the feeling of needing my husband his strength his love. The song "he will give and he will take with my heart I choose to say blessed be the name of the Lord" just kept flowing through my mind. My spirit started to calm down and I closed my eyes and just thought of all of my blessings that the Lord has given me. I have a loving husband, three great children, family and friends, a new home I am blessed beyond measure.
Then Brian walked in the door what a sense of relief he always sees the positive when it comes to my health. We waited for the Dr. soon after the doctor came in and announced to us that I did not have a blood clot in my lungs YEAH! but, I do have a Gallbladder packed full of gallstones and I need to have surgery to have my Gallbladder removed as soon as possible. Also, my blood work for my liver showed abnormalities and it will require further testing. Now until the surgery takes place there is a chance that I will go through this pain again and I may need to have an emergency surgery done if my Gallbladder ruptures.
Tomorrow I have a Dr. appointment with our regular office for more blood work and to receive a referral to a surgeon. I would like to see if there is a natural route to take for these gallstones to go away I will be asking tomorrow. Today I am feeling better although right now I am having a lot of pain in my back and moderate pain that comes and goes in my upper abdomin. I will be on a no fat, low preferably no acid diet to help with the pain caused my these gallstones.
Please keep me in your prayers as I will be needing a lot of strength to make it through this trial. One of my co-workers sent me an email this morning "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops. How true this is I have been saying all day that there is pain in the offering. God has used my marriage and my health to show me his loving mercies do shine through it all andin the end I will say Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Weekend family fun

Yesterday we went by our land to see our building permit YEAH! This has been such a fun experience for all of us. We all feel so blessed to be able to build our home exactly the way we want it. They have the ground staked out and should be pouring the concrete slab this week.

If you read my blog about Gabriel being so full of energy here is the proof. Here is the outlet that he sparked magnetically.
Yesterday Lilly had a sleep over with one of her best friends Morgan. These two girls are so fun and have such a passion for learning right now. They spent hours yesterday playing school until they were tuckered out. Check out Lilly's legs across Morgan good thing she is a sound sleeper.

Landen with our neighbor Jacob.

Landen had his first basketball game yesterday where he earned the most valuable player star. He did such an awesome job and we are so proud of him. Good job Landen!

Brian and I invited our neighbors to come over for a time of fellowship. While the adults played RISK until 1:30am our boys and their little guy Jacob played Star Wars. Of course this was a special occasion for these three boys to be able to stay up so late so they were extra good to ensure they didn't have to go to bed. Of course all of the children were up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 7am this morning =0

I hope you had just as much fun with your family this weekend.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The New Footprints

Now imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking along a beach together.

For much of the way the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying in pace. But your footprints are in a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns. For much of the way it seems to go like this. But gradually, your footprints come in line with the Lord, soon paralleling His consistently. You and Jesus are walking as true friends.
This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens; yours that once etched the sand next to the Master's are now walking precisely in His steps. Inside His large footprints is the smaller "sand print," safely enclosed. You and Jesus are becoming one; this goes on for many miles. But gradually you notice another change. The footprint inside the larger footprints seems to grow larger. Eventually it disappears altogether. There is only one set of footprints. They have become one; again this goes on for a long time.
But then something awful happens! The second set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse than before. Zigzags all over the place. Stop...stop. Deep gashes in the sand. A veritable mess of prints. You're amazed and shocked! But this is the end of your dream.
Now you ask "Lord, I understand the first scene with the zigzags, fits, starts, and so on. I was a Christian, just learning. But you walked on through the storm."
"This is correct," replied the Lord.
"Then, when the smaller footprints grew and eventually filled in with yours. I suppose that I was actually growing so much that I was becoming more Like You in every way?"
"But this is my question, Lord. Was there a regression or something? The footprints went back to two, and this time it was worse than the first?"
The Lord smiles, then laughs. "You don't know?" He says. "That was when we danced!"

For he will turn your mourning into dancing!!!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Gabriel is full of Energy

Our little guy Gabriel is always so full of energy always singing and laughing. Yesterday evening after family devotions Brian had the children show me some magic tricks with their magnets. Now these magnets are a pretty good size so you can do all kinds of cool things with them.
This morning Gabriel was in his room playing while Landen, Lilly and I were watching a movie in the living room. When all of a sudden there is a pop sound and off goes the t.v. Now I am thinking that is strange and Landen looks over the t.v. to make sure it is alright when a sweet little voice calls out of the boys room
"Mommy there is smoke and sparks in here and my light won't turn on".
Hmmm...
I went to check it out and sure enough there is black smoke all over the outlet cover. Then Gabriel explains to me his little magic trick for today. He held one of his metal chains and on the end of it he had his magnet and then he was swinging it by the electrical outlet to see if it would stick magnetically. Which he said it stuck and then sparks flew.
Praise the Lord he was not hurt nor were there any damages to the house. We just need a new outlet cover.
I shall post a picture when I get home this evening of our little energetic boy and his magical smokin' outlet cover.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Great Moms point their children to Christ

How many of us have accepted that we were created to worship God?
If we say that we accept this then why don't we accept that everything that happens in our life whether it be good or bad is a spiritual issue?
I just finished reading a great example of Christs love that we should share with our children while training them daily.
Our children need to know that we are on their side. We are not here to rob them of joy, but to point them to the giver of joy. Be cheerful with your children in all situations, whether at play or during times of training and instruction. We are here to encourgae them in wisdom and to lead them to freedom in Christ. We are here to poit them to the redemption and hope of Jesus. It's not about climbing on a religious soapbox when our children have done wrong. It's about teaching them that all of life, the choices we make, the paths we take, are all about our relationship with Christ. Everything is a spiritual issue. We were created to worship God. Our main purpose in life is to glorify God in everything. Therefore, all that we do is either glorifying him or not. This is the mindset we want to instill.
This was taken from the book Heaven at Home by Ginger Plowman (If you haven't read it you need to)
This is our main mission as parents that well most of us know but don't always apply to our daily life. Then we struggle with sin issues in our little ones. I know for myself I have had some really good opportunities to share Christ with my children and to ask them questions that would stir up a great conversation but I have been selfish and quenched the moment.
Yesterday, I had the chance to have some one on one time with Gabriel. I needed to make a quick trip to Target it was just the two of us and Gabriel talked the whole way there. Then he continued talking through the store well, I could not think about what I needed so I looked at Gabriel and asked him lovingly "can you please be quiet I can not think?" He just looked at me and well... continued talking. Then I took my jacket off placed it in the cart and asked him if he would like to rest his head and take a nap? (He was sitting in the cart) He said "no" but was quiet for a little while.
On the way home he talked the whole way and with everything he ends with a "right?" Which after a while drives me crazy and I just start saying Gabriel is your name right? that is a tree right? we live in a house right? When we pulled into our drive way he asked me "Mom do you know why I talk so much? It is because I have so much to share with you"
WOW... I was speachless because he took the opportunity that we had to share things with me. I as the parent should have taken this opportunity to share the love of our Lord with him. How many times with our busy lifestyles do we forget the most important things that matter. I do not get many opportunities with my little guy one on one to just talk to him to get to know him. I know to some this may sound silly to get to know my own child. Yes we need to continuously ask our children questions to find out their perspective on things and not just closed ended questions.
This week I plan to really start stirring some meaningful conversations with our children. This will be a family conversation because this way not only will I get to know more about them they will get to know more about us. A couple of great conversation starters that I read in the book Heaven at Home that I plan to ask our children are
What do you think heaven looks like?
If you were going to be spend one year on a desert island and could only take three things, what would would they be?
What's the hardest part about being ------ (Child's name)
Who do you see as the most Christ-like among everyone you know?
Try some of thes questions with your children this week.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Our Land



Here is the picture of our lovely piece of land where our new home will be built. Brian and I are so excited we took another trip out there this past Sunday just to walk around. Lilly and Gabriel were with us and they played on the playground where they met two of our neighbor girls.

The builders will start breaking ground on our property next month. I will continue to keep you up to date with each new phase.

The Mint Museum




This past Saturday was another family fun day. We took the children to the Mint Museum for their children's art day. The children were able to create their own piece of art out of trash. The second Saturday of every month they host this for the kiddos. Boy this was a lot of fun our little ones enjoyed grabbing up their trash from the big table and making their own pieces of art. As you can see they came out very unique!

They are now being displayed on our mantel in our living room for all of our company to see.

ImaginOn





Two weeks ago we took the children to ImaginOn for the first time. This is such a cool place to take children of all ages and for the most part it is FREE. We were able to celebrate all of the TV news mascots and the Nascar mascot Lug Nut. Our children really enjoyed Lug Nut at the race track so, we knew they would enjoy getting a close up with him.


After partying with the mascots we went to their children's library where Lilly signed up for her first library card. She was so excited to get her own books and CD what a big girly she is. Then we played on the computers and we toured the museum.


Friday, January 11, 2008

Charlotte activities

Friends if you are in for some fun you should come uptown tomorrow morning with your little ones. Brian and I are always up for some good FREE fun with the children. Tomorrow ImaginOn will be hosting the Charlotte Symphony Guild Musical Petting zoo from 10:30-12:30. Your children will be able to play with their real instruments used in the symphony. There is free parking in the parking deck beside of ImaginOn. Then only 7 minutes from ImaginOn at the Mint Museum they are hosting "Funky Junk" from 10:30-1:30. Your child will be able to create a piece of art out of junk.
Hopefully we will see some of our good friends uptown tomorrow morning/afternoon. I will post pictures of our fun activities this weekend.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

We signed the line

Yes, we have finally signed our contract on our new house to be built. Brian and I are so glad and we are counting down the weeks until we get to go to closing 21 weeks exactly from this Friday. After our last home being our HUGE project home we are excited to have something new.
I have been spending many hours already looking at fabrics for window treatments and paint colors for the walls. I know what style I like very modern with an artsy twist. We are saving our pennys to buy some new furniture since we haven't had anything new in almost 13 years. Our kitchen table is going to be replaced with a fun glass top table that we already picked out at a really fun new furniture shop here in the city. Plus we are going to purchase a couple of chairs for our living room since we only have our Pottery Barn red sofa right now. (We are in need of seating for our company)
So, for all of my friends out there I need your help send me some of your advice on some really fun modern paint colors. I really want something different but classy. I am tired of the khaki, beige walls that you typically see in a new home. This is when I wish that I had Juli's sister who is an interior designer (or something like that).
I will try and post some pics of our land tomorrow so you can at least get a glimpse of our lot. Don't forget to leave your comments on colors!