I have enjoyed driving the children to school each morning and on the way there I ask them if they can help me pray about their day. Landen is usually on the quieter side, Gabriel asks for the Lord to help him be in control of himself and to obey the teacher (he's our class clown), Lilly prays Lord help me to have a good day and then I pray the Lords hand of protection over them and for them to have a cheerful spirit. They step out of the van all cheerfully and ready to start the day. The boys walk by Lilly to escort her to class and I just watch them in awe to believe that by the grace of God I have been blessed to have 3 beatuifully healthy children.
I have been reminded here recently of how sometimes we may feel like the grass is greener on the other side but it is only green on the side that the Lord is on.
I remember so many times Brian and I would complain about having children so early on in our marriage and how if we had waited we thought our life would have been so much better financially. We just couldn't understand why we got pregnant so soon we had only been married for three months and doctors had told me for years that I would have a hard time getting pregnant so you can see that our first pregnancy was of great surprise. Then a couple of years later we had Gabriel and a couple more years passed by and we were blessed with Lilly.
At the end of last year I received a phone call from my Gynocologists office saying that my test results came back and they showed cancerous cells. When I received this phone call Lilly was standing before me watching me sew. I remember that horrible feeling inside of me like a brick had fallen on my chest. #1 why were they telling me this over the phone #2 I have to stay happy in front of Lilly. This was the Lords plan for me to find out with my testimony standing before me Lilly.
The Lord brought this to my attention one evening when I had just broken down I couldn't handle believing that I may have cancer. This was something that I could not control that I could not change. Why would the Lord bless me with 3 beautiful children and then let this happen. Wait... that is where the light turned on if Brian and I had waited to have children I would never of had Lilly. If we were in control of our life of planning our children my prayer that I had prayed for since I was a young girl of having a daughter would never of been answered. That explained why I recieved the test results over the phone with Lilly standing before me she would be my testimony of Gods grace.
All of those years of questioning God and thinking that the grass would have been greener on the other side. If only we had waited and had children later but Gods plan was to bless me and not only with three healthy babies but to bless me with my hearts desire. Now when I drop my three little ones off at school and I watch them walking together I am reminded that this is the greatest blessing of all to be a Mommy and the grass is so green on this side that my family walks on the side of the Lord.
To sum the medical side up I had pre-cancerous cells that were at stage 3 stage 4 would have been full blown cancer. The cells had spread throughout all of my female organs and I had to have a major hysterectomy. Now I am healthy and thanking the Lord everyday that I am not in control of my life.
