Yesterday I went to the doctor for my check up and blood work. The doctor was really able to break my blood scores down for me. I thought when the DR at the ER said my scores were high that they would be ok maybe 50 points higher than the norm. Well, a normal to high gallbladder score should be 0-40 mine is 426 I guess that sums up what high really means to the ER.
They ran a series of blood panels on me and are testing for everything on my liver. Their hope right now is that the scores on my liver are high due to my gallbladder. The hope for that is after the gallbladder is removed my liver may be able to heal itself. They are also referring me to a surgeon who will be able to do my surgery promptly.
When they had me go to the lab for my blood work there was an eldery lady who was walking with a walker sitting right beside of me waiting for her blood work. I pondered the idea what will I be like by the time I am her age will I live that long? and if I live that long how many parts will I have lost by then. I feel like Mrs. Potato head (you know that all Mr and Mrs Potato Heads loose their parts pretty quickly) I have lost my tonsils, all female organs, now my gallbladder all in 3 years. Hey at least I have all of the other parts YEAH!
You see as a young child I was very sick for a long time. I had a severe case of scarlet fever and the doctors warned my parents that I may have issues when I was older due to that. My immune system ever since has been very weak but I have done well. I was talking to my brother the other day on the phone and I finally gave in and said "You know I was sick all the time as a child I can not believe that I am going through this again as an adult". I was all into the pitty me deal and honestly angry after all I have been through why me Lord?
Well, I decided after that I was going to quit complaining and look to the Lord for my strength as I stated in my last blog. Tuesday one of my co-workers shared a great verse with me that really helped me to focus on my relationship with the Lord. Yesterday as I was saying I was sitting in the lab waiting for my lab work and the nurse was looking over my file. The little elderly lady started joking around with me and then it was time for her to leave. The nurse put my file down and came over to me she explained that she hadn't seen many files like mine with so many health issues at such a young age and she explained that the Lord had a purpose for what I was going through. I let her know that the verse I was standing on was "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops".
Then she about blew me away with what came next... She said "dear the Lord has had his hand on you since birth and he is using you as his testimony to all around you". You have the strength of his army behind you and inside of you. I forgot that she was drawing several vials of blood all I could think of was how selfish and unthankful I had been.
You know to everything over the past several years now I have been able to use my struggles as a testimony. With my issues with fertility and being told that I may not ever have children and I have 3 beautiful babies. My baby girl my hearts desire since being a child I almost lost her to a nickel lodged in her throat 4 years ago and the Lord saved her little life, 3 years ago I almost lost my marriage and our marriage has been healed and we are now able to currently minister to our neighbor who is going through a seperation, 2 1/2 years ago possible cancer in my tonsils and when they took them out and tested them they were just abnormally large but no cancer present, 1 year ago my scare of cancer and my hysterectomy the Lord showed me how it was caught just one stage away from full blown cancer. Now this year my gallbladder and liver I know that this too will be a testimony to someone some how but it may just be a testimony to myself.
I know that my weakness is that I am a control freak and a very strong willed woman. But, I am finally ready to be the clay and let the Lord be the potter. I am ready for him to mold me and make me into his piece of work because by my own will I am falling apart. With out the Lord I am nothing but a lost sinner trying to make it in this world so full of sin. When you live in this world as part of this world it will tear you apart little by little and no matter what you do by your own will you will eventually drown.
But I have learned that if I take a hold of his garment he will drag me up out of this lake I am drowning in and he will put me back up on his potters wheel and he will make me beautiful in his image as I was menat to be.
His mercy and grace is new to me this morning!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
We are expecting!
I am expecting a lot of health issues =(
I went into work yesterday as usual and carried on my daily routine. Then all of a sudden around 3pm I had severe chest pains. I had to call my manager over to my desk and then I blacked out and all I remember next is the paramedic saying we can't read her pulse. I was breathing very light quick breaths that were very hard to take in. I remember them asking me some questions and I tried to answer them. I was very cold, gray in color and praying under my breath. I could not move all I could do was lay there on my work floor beside my desk.
At this time I was really struggeling within myself I remember praying the sinners prayer and for God to take care of my family and loved ones. I remember thinking to myself "Do I really want to fight to breath anymore" "Of course I do" but the pain was so unbearable.
They were finally able to get a pulse on me and rolled me out to the ambulance. There they had issues with trying to get an IV started on me because of my tiny veins. After the second try they got the IV in and we were on our way. They took me to CMC uptown since it is closest to my work. There they ran a series of EKG's, Cat scan, blood work etc. Then just after Brian had to leave to get our little ones from school the Dr came in to let me know that my heart looked great but he really thought that I had a blood clot in my lungs. WHAT LORD??? Why me you see this time exactly a year ago I was battling possible ovarian cancer and the fear of that.
Now I was of course thinking the worst and I just kept praying "Lord calm my weak spirit please Lord give me strength you knew me before I was born Lord you know my beginning and my end. Lord I don't want this to be my end please just ease my uneasy mind". I was so scared at this moment that I was shaking with cold chills all over my body.
Then the Dr came back and explained that he wanted to draw more blood work and send me for x-rays of my lungs. So, they drew several vials of blood and off we went to x-ray. That was not a fun experience either since I was still having pain in my chest but also my lower back and shoulders. After the x-rays I was brought back to my room to lay down and wait for the results.
I was pleased to hear that they did not find a blood clot but my blood work did come back with a lot of specualtion. So, this time we were off to ultra sound. This was a pretty lengthy ultrasound of all of my organs from different positions. The technician was very pleasant and talkative which made my time there much calmer.
Then I was back in my room to wait once more. Now Brian was still not back yet as we live a little distance from the hospital and he was trying to get help to watch the children so he could come back to be with me. I really enjoyed the feeling of needing my husband his strength his love. The song "he will give and he will take with my heart I choose to say blessed be the name of the Lord" just kept flowing through my mind. My spirit started to calm down and I closed my eyes and just thought of all of my blessings that the Lord has given me. I have a loving husband, three great children, family and friends, a new home I am blessed beyond measure.
Then Brian walked in the door what a sense of relief he always sees the positive when it comes to my health. We waited for the Dr. soon after the doctor came in and announced to us that I did not have a blood clot in my lungs YEAH! but, I do have a Gallbladder packed full of gallstones and I need to have surgery to have my Gallbladder removed as soon as possible. Also, my blood work for my liver showed abnormalities and it will require further testing. Now until the surgery takes place there is a chance that I will go through this pain again and I may need to have an emergency surgery done if my Gallbladder ruptures.
Tomorrow I have a Dr. appointment with our regular office for more blood work and to receive a referral to a surgeon. I would like to see if there is a natural route to take for these gallstones to go away I will be asking tomorrow. Today I am feeling better although right now I am having a lot of pain in my back and moderate pain that comes and goes in my upper abdomin. I will be on a no fat, low preferably no acid diet to help with the pain caused my these gallstones.
Please keep me in your prayers as I will be needing a lot of strength to make it through this trial. One of my co-workers sent me an email this morning "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops. How true this is I have been saying all day that there is pain in the offering. God has used my marriage and my health to show me his loving mercies do shine through it all andin the end I will say Blessed be the name of the Lord.
I went into work yesterday as usual and carried on my daily routine. Then all of a sudden around 3pm I had severe chest pains. I had to call my manager over to my desk and then I blacked out and all I remember next is the paramedic saying we can't read her pulse. I was breathing very light quick breaths that were very hard to take in. I remember them asking me some questions and I tried to answer them. I was very cold, gray in color and praying under my breath. I could not move all I could do was lay there on my work floor beside my desk.
At this time I was really struggeling within myself I remember praying the sinners prayer and for God to take care of my family and loved ones. I remember thinking to myself "Do I really want to fight to breath anymore" "Of course I do" but the pain was so unbearable.
They were finally able to get a pulse on me and rolled me out to the ambulance. There they had issues with trying to get an IV started on me because of my tiny veins. After the second try they got the IV in and we were on our way. They took me to CMC uptown since it is closest to my work. There they ran a series of EKG's, Cat scan, blood work etc. Then just after Brian had to leave to get our little ones from school the Dr came in to let me know that my heart looked great but he really thought that I had a blood clot in my lungs. WHAT LORD??? Why me you see this time exactly a year ago I was battling possible ovarian cancer and the fear of that.
Now I was of course thinking the worst and I just kept praying "Lord calm my weak spirit please Lord give me strength you knew me before I was born Lord you know my beginning and my end. Lord I don't want this to be my end please just ease my uneasy mind". I was so scared at this moment that I was shaking with cold chills all over my body.
Then the Dr came back and explained that he wanted to draw more blood work and send me for x-rays of my lungs. So, they drew several vials of blood and off we went to x-ray. That was not a fun experience either since I was still having pain in my chest but also my lower back and shoulders. After the x-rays I was brought back to my room to lay down and wait for the results.
I was pleased to hear that they did not find a blood clot but my blood work did come back with a lot of specualtion. So, this time we were off to ultra sound. This was a pretty lengthy ultrasound of all of my organs from different positions. The technician was very pleasant and talkative which made my time there much calmer.
Then I was back in my room to wait once more. Now Brian was still not back yet as we live a little distance from the hospital and he was trying to get help to watch the children so he could come back to be with me. I really enjoyed the feeling of needing my husband his strength his love. The song "he will give and he will take with my heart I choose to say blessed be the name of the Lord" just kept flowing through my mind. My spirit started to calm down and I closed my eyes and just thought of all of my blessings that the Lord has given me. I have a loving husband, three great children, family and friends, a new home I am blessed beyond measure.
Then Brian walked in the door what a sense of relief he always sees the positive when it comes to my health. We waited for the Dr. soon after the doctor came in and announced to us that I did not have a blood clot in my lungs YEAH! but, I do have a Gallbladder packed full of gallstones and I need to have surgery to have my Gallbladder removed as soon as possible. Also, my blood work for my liver showed abnormalities and it will require further testing. Now until the surgery takes place there is a chance that I will go through this pain again and I may need to have an emergency surgery done if my Gallbladder ruptures.
Tomorrow I have a Dr. appointment with our regular office for more blood work and to receive a referral to a surgeon. I would like to see if there is a natural route to take for these gallstones to go away I will be asking tomorrow. Today I am feeling better although right now I am having a lot of pain in my back and moderate pain that comes and goes in my upper abdomin. I will be on a no fat, low preferably no acid diet to help with the pain caused my these gallstones.
Please keep me in your prayers as I will be needing a lot of strength to make it through this trial. One of my co-workers sent me an email this morning "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops. How true this is I have been saying all day that there is pain in the offering. God has used my marriage and my health to show me his loving mercies do shine through it all andin the end I will say Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Weekend family fun
Yesterday we went by our land to see our building permit YEAH! This has been such a fun experience for all of us. We all feel so blessed to be able to build our home exactly the way we want it. They have the ground staked out and should be pouring the concrete slab this week.
If you read my blog about Gabriel being so full of energy here is the proof. Here is the outlet that he sparked magnetically.
Yesterday Lilly had a sleep over with one of her best friends Morgan. These two girls are so fun and have such a passion for learning right now. They spent hours yesterday playing school until they were tuckered out. Check out Lilly's legs across Morgan good thing she is a sound sleeper.
Landen with our neighbor Jacob.
Landen had his first basketball game yesterday where he earned the most valuable player star. He did such an awesome job and we are so proud of him. Good job Landen!
Brian and I invited our neighbors to come over for a time of fellowship. While the adults played RISK until 1:30am our boys and their little guy Jacob played Star Wars. Of course this was a special occasion for these three boys to be able to stay up so late so they were extra good to ensure they didn't have to go to bed. Of course all of the children were up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 7am this morning =0I hope you had just as much fun with your family this weekend.
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